Fatback Media: Ali Larter is Off the Market

Not that this is actually big news, but Ali Larter, the actress on the show Heroesthat isn’t Hayden Panettiere got married over the weekend. She married her long time boyfriend Hayes MacArthur in a ceremony in Kennebunkport, Maine. You see I do not understand this. A couple of days ago we saw Ali bending over and getting a nice shot of her ass and I thought to myself “now that is a good girl to hit it and quit it” but this douche decides to marry her making the rest of the guys out there look like assholes if they don’t marry the first thing they fuck.

I have to say, this is not a sound investment. Ali is 33 years old and isn’t getting any younger. So he has about 7 years. If he is lucky 10 that he will be able to show up at a red carpet event and show off his trophy wife. Cause God knows, that face is gonna be sagging soon. There is always plastic surgery but that is always a roll of the dice. Of course this girl will be gone and all but forgotten when Heroes gets cancelled or ends in a few years. Color me unmarried.

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