St. Angie + Johnny Depp

Johnny Depp is currently in talks to star opposite St. Angie in The Tourist. Variety (via Coming Soon) is saying that Sam Worthington was supposed to pucker up to Angie Jo on screen, but he has dropped out over "creative differences." Basically, Sam couldn't come up with a creative way to make his ass more famous, so the producers decided to go with Depp instead.

In the movie, Johnny will play an American tourist "drawn into a web of intrigue by a female Interpol agent (Jolie) who is attempting to locate a criminal who was once her lover."

The Tourist has already seen a shit load of changes. Tommy Girl was originally attached to the title role for a while. When he bounced, Charlize Theron came in. When Charlize quit that bitch, St. Angie jumped on. Alfonso Cuaron is also in talks to take over directing duties from Florian Henckel von Donnersmarck. CONFUSING.

While I'm sure many bitches must be cooking massive amounts of panty pudding over this union, I bet you Vanessa Paradis is not one of those hos.

St. Angie's vagina must be itching to strike again and Johnny Depp is THAT BITCH. If I was Vanessa, I'd shove Johnny's peen in my gap and keep it there for the entire length of the shoot. Let the writers figure out a way to explain that shit, because I would not let that wang out of my sight.