Kissed By A Hot Ginge

The lucky bitch claims he received a special peck from Prince Hot Ginge. That explains why he has that third-degree burn mark on his cheek. It's where PHG planted his flaming hot lips. You know I've got it bad for PHG when I would actually consider licking that dude's cheek completely sober. I would even ignore his awesome popped collar. Ring the crazy alarm.

21-year-old Rocky Bennett tells the News of the World that he was out boozing at Liquid night club when he noticed royalty was in his midst. Rocky must have been drunker than Noah Cyrus on Christmas morning, because he strolled up to Prince Hot Ginge and offered him a proposition everyone would refuse. Rocky said, "I went up to him and told him I would love to buy him a drink - if he gave me a kiss, Harry just burst out laughing, threw his arms around me and kissed me on the left cheek. I'm not going to wash my face for a month now! It was the best moment of my life. I just burst into tears, he's so down to earth."

Now, I'm not calling the adorable Cornish gayme hen a liar, but if Prince Hot Ginge even looked my way, I'd do more than burst into tears. My loins would burst into FLAMES! I would be serving up No-No Flambé. It would be like Firestarter stared down my genitals. It would be a back, front and side draft. You get the terrifying picture. Unfortunately.

When Rocky left the club, he spotted a beautiful image that I thought only existed in the museum of my dreams. Rocky said, "Afterwards we saw him in the McDonald's across the road. Harry ordered a quarterpounder meal with a coke - I think he wanted to sober up."